she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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