Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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