every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
