Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
