i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
