I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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