i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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