Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
