my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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