I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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