...so i touched it.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
