you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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