i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
