They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
