That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize