Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
