Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
