i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just want to make out with him forever
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
