the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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