? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
