8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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