I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
