im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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