Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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