Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
