thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
