That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize