So drunk its hurt
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
