I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
