I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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