She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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