i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
