i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
