Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
and you fell through a lawn chair
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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