You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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