She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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