I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
