between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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