Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
