Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize