I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize