Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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