At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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