I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize