Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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