Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
