dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
