I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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