he shaved USA in his pubs
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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