THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
