i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
