I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
