3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize