If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
